A report taken from today’s Daily Satiriser…
Scientists were left celebrating and baffled by a major breakthrough this morning when it appeared that a fan of football club Sheffield United showed evidence of being able to send a text message.
“We didn’t even think it was possible for them to be capable of any form of communication other than inarticulate shouts and chants…” said a spokesperson today, and continued, “…this is a real breakthrough for half of Sheffield. We were hoping to have them capable of using computers within 20 years, but we might realistically reduce that to 15 now.”
The breakthrough in question happened during this morning’s broadcast of the Radio 2 breakfast show during a discussion about Pigfests. A United fan texted in to state that a Pigfest took place at Hillsborough in Sheffield every other Saturday, without it being picked up on by either the Producer or the Presenter, a Mr Chris Evans.
A fan of Sheffield Wednesday said “It seems quite fitting that the first thing they texted would be a comment against us…”
Neil Warnock was unavailable for comment, the reason for which was not understood.