Monday, 26 March 2012


It's been quite a while since I last blogged.  This past fortnight has been a little crazy really, partly for reasons that I would rather not go into, but partly also because of Tesco.
For over a year now we have had regular home deliveries from Tesco and they have worked really well for us.  Living a good mile and a bit from our nearest store, it is not always easy to walk home laden with bags of potatoes, pots of yoghurt and other heavy items.  Therefore to have these delivered to your doorstep is a great thing.
However, in the past couple of months Tesco have closed ten of their local 'hubs' and are operating from a single one in Enfield - which is a long long way from where I live.  As such our order from two months ago arrived an hour and half late.  We had guests at the time and part of our dinner was in said order, making a very embarrasing and frustrating evening for us.
Having been told that they were going through teething problems with their new setup, we decided to wait a few weeks and give them another chance.  Big mistake.  Last week our order failed to turn up at all.  Upon contacting customer services we were told that the driver had in fact turned up but then contacted the depot to say that the customer wasn't in!
We were fuming, to put it mildly, since both of us had been waiting and twiddling our thumbs, not being able to concentrate, for the last two hours.  It did not help matters to be told that we would now have to re-order if we wanted our shopping delivered.  We still have yet to be updated as to how the driver ascertained that we were not in, or whether indeed he had bothered to check.
More annoyingly the Tesco customer feedback forms only hold statements of 1000 characters long whereas my complaint and questions ran for 4000 words.  I had to break it up into five segments, only to find that Tesco then wanted to contact me five times, despite the fact that I had written at the bottom of each one Part X of 5.
After have been given some money off vouchers by the services team we decided to give them one more chance, and to order outside of the rush hour, to be delivered today.  Once again it was late, and I was just about to call them, but at least it turned up.  Most of our order was there, but one important thing was missing...Milk.  How on earth do you run out of milk??
Anyway, as far as we're concerned Tesco have now run out of chances and we will try a different store.  We are holding thumbs and crossing fingers that they will be better.  For now though, here is a poem simply called Messco.


There’s nothing noble in baseline profit
There’s always somebody who has to cough it
Up in the end; The customer
Who barks and yelps,
Yacking their complaints to underpaid service staff
Told nothing but ‘Every Little Helps’
And treated like the hounds of their masters.
The trouble with cost-cutting-corners
Are the sharp edges that can cut both ways
Patronage can be withheld
Loyalty is felled like a tree half-hacked
And needs nothing but a nudge
In a forest that could take others with it.
Beware your cutting of branches.
Maybe it’s time for a self-checkout
Of policy, for there is no doubt
That this is not your Finest* hour.

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